My Philosophy

This page is for those who want to understand a little more about how I think and how I work. It is not required reading. Some people will feel enough resonance from a few lines elsewhere. Others like to know what kind of presence they are stepping into. This page is here for you if you are in the second group.

A real human alongside you

I do not work as a blank screen. I do not believe that neutrality or emotional distance creates safety for the kind of people who are drawn to my work, especially those who are thoughtful, deeply caring, or who carry long histories of responsibility, adaptation, trauma, or over reliance on themselves.

My experience, both personal and professional, is that people settle and open when they feel someone is genuinely there with them. Attuned. Responsive. Willing to be impacted. This does not mean making the work about me. It means showing up as a real human rather than a detached observer.

I work alongside you and with you, not from a position of authority above you, and not from a cool or distant arm’s length.

How I came to this way of working

This philosophy grew out of my own experience. I have spent many years doing inner work, learning, reflecting, and trying to make sense of myself, including my own trauma history, difficult transitions, and periods of deep emotional loneliness. What I learned is that insight and self development, while valuable, are often not enough on their own.

At certain points, what matters most is the quality of human presence and the safety of the relational space. I learned that I could sit with the most technically skilled coach or therapist in the world, and still experience the work as harmful if that person did not show up as a person and resonate with me in the room. Performance focused or results driven approaches, and many familiar best self narratives, simply do not work for me.

I have also experienced forms of coaching and therapy that felt distant, withholding, or impersonal. Rather than supporting regulation or integration, those experiences left me feeling triggered, ashamed, unseen, and more alone. Over time, I learned to trust my own nervous system responses and to shape my work accordingly.

This is the ground from which my approach has grown.

Trauma informed and developmentally aware

Being trauma informed, for me, is not about treating trauma or pathologising experience. It is about honouring and respecting the individual with whom I am lucky enough to share intimate space. It is about moving gently, at a pace that supports choice, dignity, and a sense of safety.

It also means offering perspectives or ideas at times, with care and discretion, when they may support clarity or insight. It involves understanding how nervous systems adapt, protect, and make sense of the world, and responding in ways that support regulation rather than overwhelm.

My work is also informed by adult development theory. Many of the people I work with are not stuck because they lack motivation or insight, but because they are moving into more complex ways of understanding themselves, others, and the world. This can feel disorienting, lonely, or destabilising, especially when familiar structures no longer fit.

I hold this context, and many others too, in my work, without turning those into a framework or a pre-prescribed process you must adopt.

Relationship as the container

The relationship is not a side effect of the work. It is the container that makes the work possible.

I pay attention to what is happening between us, including moments of resonance, discomfort, confusion, or relief. These moments often carry important information. When named carefully and respectfully, they can support awareness, integration, and choice.

Trust is not assumed. It is built slowly through consistency, transparency, and care.

Presence over performance

I am not interested in optimising you or holding you to a particular performance standard or transactional goal, even though practical outcomes often emerge as a by product of the work. I am not interested in simple answers, ‘positive thinking’ or striving to become a best version of yourself.

Many of the people I work with are already highly capable at performing, coping, and holding things together. Instead, I am interested in supporting you to come into a more honest and compassionate relationship with your own experience. From that place, clearer choices and more sustainable ways of living often emerge naturally.

Practical tools, held lightly

I use practical tools such as strengths work, the Enneagram, and embodied awareness when they are helpful. These tools are supports, not answers. They are always in service of your lived experience rather than imposed as explanations or solutions.

We stay responsive to what is actually happening, rather than following a predetermined process.

Who this work tends to support best

This way of working tends to resonate with people who are thoughtful, reflective, and inwardly complex. Often they are in transition, questioning long held identities, roles, or ways of being. Many have already done significant personal work and are looking for something that feels more relational, spacious, and real.

If you are looking for quick fixes, performance coaching, or a clearly scripted programme, this may not be the right fit. If you are looking for a steady, attuned space to think, feel, and make sense of what is unfolding, you may feel at home here.

An invitation

You do not need to agree with everything on this page in order to work with me. What matters more is whether you feel a sense of recognition or ease as you read. If something here helps your shoulders drop or your breath soften, that is often a good place to begin.