Adult Development Coaching with Trauma-Aware Support

Supporting personal growth and recovery through trauma-informed coaching.

Are you curious to know what stage you’re at? Great! Book now and let’s chat.

We all know that children develop, but do we assume that once we’re adults, our mental capacity more or less stops developing?

That’s a common assumption, but it’s mistaken.

Adults have the potential to continue growing throughout their lives, but this development is not automatic. Certain conditions need to be present: sufficient challenge, space for reflection, and quality support that matches the level of challenge.

Think of a tree growing in distinct rings. People can grow throughout their lives, but growth is never guaranteed. To support our development, we need considerable challenge, quality support, intrinsic motivation, and perhaps—something I’m currently reflecting on—enough safety and connection to allow for exploration and growth.

Like a tree, we always carry the earlier rings of our development, and these foundations are essential to standing strong. As adults, it can be helpful to consciously step back into these earlier “rings” to view the world from a different perspective. For example, when navigating a difficult situation with someone who seems to see the world very differently—perhaps they are focused on the “right” way or are aligned with power dynamics—this perspective can help us understand their limitations and growth edges.

Why do we grow? To expand our capacity for seeing options and making choices, and to positively influence ourselves, our organizations, and our communities—especially in an increasingly complex and uncertain world.

When you embark on a journey of adult development, it’s helpful to have a map. The illustration here depicts part of one such map, and there are larger, more detailed maps available that provide additional navigational tools.

More Reading:

Kegan, R. (1994). In Over Our Heads: The Mental Demands of Modern Life. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Global Leadership Associates: Learn about the seven levels of leadership development here.

Genuine vertical development can benefit from bringing a trauma aware coach approach - helping clients build resilience and move forward after difficult experiences.

If you feel like you are “missing something”—a gap in your growth, a “missing tree ring,” or a sense of missing files—this could be something worth exploring in a supportive coaching setting.

What do we need to be able to grow?

There are several prerequisites to move from one stage of adult development onto the next. One of the key ones is discomfort which we have plenty of right now.
Many people are facing ongoing and significant disruption, complexity and unpredictability. When we start to realise that their current way of operating is not working anymore, and the pain of their experience is worse than the perceived pain of change, we may look for more sophisticated and mature way of being and making sense.
But growing is messy. It’s uncomfortable and it often makes us feel foolish (which is why we sometimes unconsciously try to avoid it). But feeling foolish, uncertain, irritable or just plain uncomfortable is an essential part of the process. No discomfort equals no growth.
Jennifer Garvey Berger is a leading expert in this field.
“I think the biggest obstacle to our growth is how scary it is to grow,” she says. “I have a sense that people stay the same until the idea of growing is less painful than the place that they’re in. Also, I think people grow because they kind of have to due to their circumstances. For most of us, there is a lot of loss that comes with growth, and as we imagine ourselves being different we have to let go of who we are today. This is very difficult as we get more and more attached to ourselves over time.”
Another key ingredient in the adult development journey is ongoing reflection. When leaders and managers use coaches and other processes to help them make sense, then it helps them to see and navigate more complex and expanded worldviews. As John Dewey famously said: “We do not learn from experience, we learn from reflecting on experience.”
Exposure to a diverse range of perspectives is also important. Interactions with people who hold different worldviews and opinions, including interactions with people at later stages of vertical development, can help you progress and expand your own capacity.
People also need support systems that provide ‘good company’ for the developmental journey. This includes developmental coaching and using vertical development tools and learning partnerships. (A metaphor could be creating fertile soil, in which we have a better chance of growing. A fertile soil too, gives us better capacity for weathering adverse conditions - think feedback as an example. If a relationship is strong (fertile soil), then difficult conversations may support healthier growth).
The final component is personal impact. Does improving your vertical development matter to you? Do you want and need to improve? If it does not, an individual is unlikely (at a conscious or subconscious level) to risk the time, energy or discomfort that embarking on vertical development is likely to involve.
References: