What is high sensitivity?

A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is someone who scores highly in the sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) trait, which is innate, a bit like eye colour, though not quite that simple. It's been found across more than 100 species, including humans. A solid body of research confirms it's real, and that roughly 30% of us have it.

(Side note: which is odd, isn't it? If nearly a third of us are highly sensitive, why does it so often feel rare, why do we feel like outsiders, or even aliens? I have some thoughts on that, but it's a discussion for another day.)

Being a highly sensitive person doesn't mean what it sounds like. In the culture I grew up in, "highly sensitive" implied fragility, weakness. It isn't that. I once heard Elaine Aron discuss that she considered using the term "highly reflective" instead, but couldn't as it didn't apply across other species.

Being an HSP tends to mean you're deeply reflective, that you take longer to process, that you're gifted with empathy and emotional resonance. It often means you're more easily overwhelmed by sensory input: sound, lighting, crowds. But it also means you respond powerfully to the good things: awe, nature, art, music, the wonders of the universe, a beautiful piece of music or a sunset can move you in ways others don't quite understand. HSPs tend to be highly conscientious and principled, drawn to bigger questions and a sense of purpose. Being an HSP also means you're more affected by negative environments and conflict, but the flip side is something called differential susceptibility: you're also quicker to flourish in positive ones.

The trait likely emerged because in social species, where most individuals are geared toward action, there's an advantage to having a smaller group, that 20-30%, who sit on the sidelines, observe, notice what others miss, and think deeply. These are often the ones who become the healers, carers, leaders, visionaries, and unifiers.

For many people, discovering this trait is profoundly validating. Many have spent years thinking something was wrong with them, labelled or judged (openly or not) as "too sensitive," "too emotional," "weak", and so on. Recognising the trait offers a chance to redefine who you are in the world, expands your potential, your self acceptance, and opens up more choices in how you navigate it.

I identify as an HSP myself. At first I dismissed the idea. I thought I was just making excuses, felt shame, and wasn't sure it was even real. But when I circled back to it, I asked a couple of people close to me whether they thought I was sensitive. I remember my husband exclaiming loudly: "Yes!" So I stayed with it, learned about it, recognised it in myself, and now I am still learning about it. And am excited to see a lot more research emerging and the revised assessment, which is itself an example of an HSP trait: we tend to love to learn and get passionate about our deep niches.

I realised, too, that many of my clients were HSPs, probably the majority. I seemed to attract them. They describe me as gentle, calming, safe, encouraging/empowering, validating (and gently challenging) and I think that's the environment an HSP needs to understand themselves, their nervous system, and their potential.

As an HSP coach, I can see that I offer my clients what I myself need. That's a humbling thing to recognise.